AMC Spoiler Commentary by Kate Brown

Kate Brown is taking some time off to tend to personal issue. She will be back with her wonderful AMC Spoiler Commentary at a later date. Meanwhile, The Media Ho will be writing her spoiler commentary column.

For the week of August 14, 2006

Greetings, all!

I'm taking a stab at the spoiler commentary while Kate tends to some personal business...while it certainly won't be the same, I hope you enjoy what you're about to read!
-- The Media Ho

Monday August 14
Jonathan insists that he loves Lily
"L-L-L-Lily, I, uh, uh, love you. Oh, hell, that takes so damn long. Listen to me, woman! I may speak better now, but I'm still the same ol' goofy Jonathan that you gave your heart, and only your heart. Doesn't that prove how good I am? K-O?"

David is upset over Zach and Dixie
Well, duh.

Kendall sees Dixie on TV
And where exactly did she see her? Certainly not on "New Beginnings," talking about how her life has changed since she let the late Dr. Madden take her child from her, and how lovely it is to boink the son-in-law of the show's host. Perhaps she was on one of those shopping channels, hawking products that remove normally difficult stains. "I tell you, if I'd had this in the trunk of my borrowed car, things would be really different right now. Blood stains are GONE in an instant!"

Josh walks away from Erica
Once more, with feeling: duh

Erica returns home
I didn't know she'd left, unless the spoiler gods are simply referring to all the time she's spent away from hearth and home, worrying about the son that never should have been, in the company of the first ex-husband in a long line of ex-husbands. She's going to find a little surprise when she does get home, namely, Sean Montgomery, son of ex-husband #714 and evil nemesis Barbara, half-brother to Saint Bianca.

Tuesday August 15
Dixie confesses her feelings about Zach
"Confessions of a DixieBirdBrain" doesn't have the same ring to it as other confessionals I'm familiar with. And, no, I'm NOT referring to "Confessions of a Mad Soap Star" (my lawyers are still looking into that)!

Zach fears Kendall's anger
As well he should. I'd fear it if I were Zach. Remember, she's a KANE WOMAN!

Babe reaches the breaking point with Simone
Why, does she not believe that women, too, get shingles? Or does Simone have issues with Babe hiring Josh to work at Fusion? What absolute nerve! I would have those same issues, so I don't believe that Babe has a leg to stand on. Or a point to break.

Amanda comforts Jonathan
Nooooo!!!!!

Colby and Sydney each desire Sean
There's a big Sunday surprise. If it had been Molly Montgomery (Sean's older sister) who'd returned to Pine Valley, would they have fought over her?

Wednesday August 16
Kendall acts out to keep up the charade with Zach
That's right, she's supposed to go along with the story that Zach and DixieBirdBrain are lovers. Therefore, she has every right to act out, and every right to slap DixieBirdBrain silly whenever she encounters her. Them's MY rules...any problems?

Kendall and Ryan arrive at ConFusion together
Wow. There's a cliffhanger of a spoiler. Unless, of course, they're continually enveloped in a passionate embrace while they're arriving.

Erin promises to try and get between Josh and Babe
She promised that last week.

Zach makes his intentions clear
Which intentions would these be, exactly?

Terry contacts Annie
From Ireland? Does he have a good calling plan? Or did he really never go to Ireland in the first place, foiling all of Aidan's "men" who were "tracking him?"

Thursday August 17
Zach picks a fight with Ryan
"Yeah, YOUR kid is keeping me up at night. YOUR kid. Not mine. Fortunately for you, he doesn't get to suckle on my wife's jubblies, but I am not enjoying these 4am feedings."

JR warns Dixie about Zach
What exactly could JR warn his mother about? How well does he really know Zach? "Stay away from him because he's already gotten you into trouble. Stay away from him because he's married to my former BFF. Stay away from him because he's married." Yeah, I'd take advice from young Chandler...NOT!

Julia and Jamie are happy to be together
Aww. Let's hope Brooke doesn't share their happiness...again.

Di and Aidan get busy
More bungee jumping? Looking for Terry?

Friday August 18
Kendall is surprised by Erica's news about Zach and Dixie
The wife is always the last to know.

Annie is concerned that Terry will find her and Emma
Well, damn, I'd be a bit more than concerned. I'd be...terrified. (By the way, has anyone from the Martin clan laid eyes on Emma yet?)

Ryan supports Annie
He's already letting her live rent-cheap and hired her to work for his enormous conglomerate. If that's not support, I need a dictionary.

Lily is unaware of the mess she's in
Hey, if you had autism spectrum disorder, you'd be unaware, too.

Krystal lays down the law to Colby
"Okay, honeybuns, this is the way it is. No more trash talking about Sydney. I sorta have a special bond with her type. No more throwing food around; it makes me nauseous, and, believe me, baby doll, nauseous is not a good state to be in. Particularly for me. Especially now. And IF you expect some blow-out Sweet Sixteen party, you'd best do some major work on the sweet part of your personality. If it exists. Now, pardon me, but I have to go drive the Porcelain Bus."

...and to quote the fabulous Kate Brown, "Here's to another week in the Valley!"