AMC Spoiler Commentary by Kate Brown

Kate Brown is taking some time off to tend to personal issue. She will be back with her wonderful AMC Spoiler Commentary at a later date. Meanwhile, The Media Ho will be writing her spoiler commentary column.

For the week of August 7, 2006

Greetings, all!

I'm taking a stab at the spoiler commentary while Kate tends to some personal business...while it certainly won't be the same, I hope you enjoy what you're about to read!
-- The Media Ho

Monday August 7
Babe tells Josh she is in love with J.R.
Hasn't she been telling him this for, like, FOREVER?

J.R. nearly drowns while searching for Babe and Josh
Nearly? DAMN.

Tad is evasive when Kendall asks his opinion of the relationship between Zach and Dixie
Tad's good at being evasive. Just ask him his opinion of virtually anything. You won't get a straight answer. Trust me. Besides, he's got a strange protective mode when it comes to his ex. Or any of his other former lovers.

Dixie is tormented by thoughts of Kate; Derek eavesdrops.
Have I mentioned before that I love Derek? What exactly did he hear? "Oh, WHY can't I recognize my own and only daughter? Could it be that I haven't seen her since she was, what, three days old? And premature, at that?"

Tuesday August 8
Zach and Dixie are arraigned and released on bail
Who posted that bail? Certainly not Kendall and Tad! Maybe it was Livia, just trying to screw with her on-contract buddies!

Aidan wonders why Tad does not want him to represent Zach and Dixie
Represent them as what? A P.I.? Last time I checked, lawyers had to represent supposed felons/criminals, not private investigators. Perhaps Aidan wants to be their agent, to sell their sordid stories to the highest bidder? Maybe he should check with Del; he always seems to need representation for that sort of story.

Derek confronts Tad about his odd behavior
"Y'know, I understood when you and Edmund dressed up as women to get into Budapest. And I sorta understood when you were boinking every chick in town, even the PV airport's runway, Simone. But buying into Dixie's story? Uh-uh, brother."

J.R. resists the urge to attack Josh
Well, he's not my type, either.

Krystal puts Colby and Sydney in their places.
"Okay! Sydney, you are the scullery maid! Colby, you are the totally spoiled, totally horny evil stepchild. Places, everyone!"

Wednesday August 9
Tad tells Kendall that Zach and Dixie are having an affair
And he knows this HOW?

Zach denies having slept with Dixie
Well, naturally, he would. I hope he's not lying.

Krystal fears Dixie might reveal her secret
Exactly which secret might Dixie reveal? That Krystal slept with Tad? Yeah, right. As if Dixie would take THAT to her grave!

Zach takes his anger out on Tad
Woo-HOO! Let's get it ON!

Babe urges Josh to talk to Erica and Jeff
"Oh, they are your parents and all...even though Erica meant to abort you doesn't mean she's not a good mother. And just because Jeff seemingly went along with it doesn't mean he's a bad father. Look at their track records!"

Babe defends Josh to J.R.
"Well, he DID get me out of that seatbelt!

Thursday August 10
J.R. tells Erin that Josh will not stop until he wins Babe
When did JR and Erin get so close? After he watched her down a few dozen shots of tequila? There's a great way to build a relationship! Anyway, JR has never been anything if not biased when it comes to Josh.

Josh is uncertain what to do about Jeff and Erica
Yeah, that's a hard call to make.

Erin has an interesting proposition for J.R.
No, Erin, you've had your share of Pine Valley's manfolk, for a virgin.

Kendall and Dixie square off over Zach
CATFIGHT?????

Tad and Zach trade threats; Colby schemes.
Oh, please. I've had enough of Tad and Zach trading threats and MORE than enough of Colby's schemes. She makes grandma Marion look like a vestal virgin. Not an easy thing to do.

Friday August 11
Kendall is willing to make a great sacrifice to keep Zach from going to prison
Will she sacrifice young Spike? Herself? What else could there be?

David is stunned to learn of Dixie's affair with Zach
Stunned? Why, exactly? David is a prime example of Dixie's tendancy to be round-heeled.

Tad tells J.R. he is trying to protect Dixie
"Yes, 'son,' I will always protect your mother. No matter how badly she treats me. No matter how many children of my loins she throws away. I will protect her nonetheless."

Jack and Erica disagree about Lily
"Well, Jack, I don't understand why you don't think she should be married to a Lavery. I wish my own daughter, Kendall, was married to a Lavery instead of just being pregnant by him. Lavery stock is GOOD stock. Ask your sister, Kit."

Ryan learns the truth about Jonathan.
The TRUTH? You can't handle the TRUTH! Okay, enough references to A Few Good Men. How Ryan could be the last to know is beyond me, considering that Amanda, Erin AND Jackson know that Jonathan can speak with the best of them. Well, OK (or K-O), Ryan's ben a little busy of late, trying to keep everyone in line,

.and to quote the fabulous Kate Brown, "Here's to another week in the Valley!"