Okay, so Sandra (my wife) has been watching Dancing with the Stars, which means that I've been watching it as well.

Pretty much the only part of the show that genuinely interests me is Stacy Keibler.

In case you're unaware, here's a little bit of history.

Stacy is a "WWE Diva" which means that she's a chick wrestler. The "Divas" aren't really hardcore like someone like, say, Mick Foley or Terry Funk, but they put on their little shows and are essentially there as sex appeal for all of the pent up wrestling fans to drool over.

Not that I'm knocking or downplaying what they do, because I'm not. I think what they do is actually pretty impressive, taken on it's own merit, but I'll get into that later.

In 1999, Ted Turner's wrestling company, the WCW (World Championship Wrestling) held a contest where girls competed to be one of the "Nitro Girls" which were essentially cheerleaders or fly girls for the commercials and entertainment for the fans between wrestling matches. Stacy Keibler entered and won that contest. She impressed the judges so much that she was soon bumped up to "Valet" which is a kind of female version of a wrestling manager. They made her into this like, sexpot secretary character with the name "Miss Hancock" (subtle, huh?) and she floated around managing various wrestlers and getting involved in staged feuds.

In 2001, Vince McMahon, owner of the WWF (now known as the WWE because of a lawsuit by the Word Wildlife Fund) purchased the WCW (for practically nothing, 5 million dollars) and all of the talent under contract to them. Stacy came over with the hordes of other WCW wrestlers and personalities. She dropped the Miss Hancock name and went back to her real name and started her career as an actual "wrestler" rather than a TV friendly stripper.

At the beginning of the "Diva" era of wrestling, the women were generally regulated to hair pulling and cat fighting. She participated in the first tag team "bra and panties" match in the WWE (where the winner of the match is the last one standing with her clothes on... seriously) and basically did the same job as female mud-wrestlers.

Slowly but surely the women in the WWE started doing more and more "wrestling" than cat fighting until eventually they were actually often wrestling with the men, doing the same kinds of things. Granted, there wasn't a lot of forehead cutting and weapons flying around. This is the point where it starts to actually get interesting and entertaining. Once these "Divas" crossed over into actual wrestling (and I use the term "wrestling" in the WWE sense of the word) their job suddenly gets a hundred times harder. It starts getting dangerous, and this is the point when the women who are just there to look pretty get sorted out from the women who actually have athletic ability.

I know there are a lot of you out there that don't really see "wrestling entertainment" for what it's worth. At least as a concept. A lot of people laugh at it, saying, "That's not real! Those people are actors!" and in a sense, they're right. But I believe they're wrong to consider it any less of an athletic ability than any other sport played for entertainment. Really, I'd say that these performers have a lot more in common with acrobats than wrestlers. They're like circus acrobats. They participate in carefully choreographed (and very dangerous) staged matches. They're throwing each other around, always aware of where they (and their partner) are at and where they're going and exactly how to land/catch so as to not seriously hurt themselves. They're jumping off of thirty foot high cages. Plowing through tables. Falling off of ladders and taking piles of abuse all over the place.

It's all very planned and can only be performed properly and safely by highly trained professionals. It takes a truly coordinated and skilled athlete to pull off the things that these people do, and they get my utmost respect as performers.

And that's not even getting into the acting part of it, which is an entirely different (and lengthy) post.

So as Stacy Keibler's time in the WWE went on, and she became more and more involved (and trained) in the wrestling aspect of her job, her popularity sky rocketed. She did a long stint as the "Duchess of Dudleyville" acting as the manager of the very silly tag team brothers The Dudley Boyz and went back and forth between "heal" and "face" (good guy/bad guy)

At the point, I'd like to address a couple of Stacy's physical characteristics.

Specifically, her legs.

One of the things Stacy Keibler is famous for is her 42 inch legs.

Forty-two inches.

That's three and a half feet.

Let's look at some math here. I'm 6' 2"

My halfway point is three and a half feet. Generally a person's legs are about half the length of their body, which mine are, approximately. So, theoretically, my legs should be about three and a half feet long, the same length as Stacy's.

But I'm also three inches taller than Stacy.

So if we were to stand side-by-side, our legs would be about the same length, but her body would be shorter than mine.

That's very strange.

To illustrate even further. We measured Sandra's legs. Sandra's legs are about thirty inches long and she's 5' 7", only four inches shorter than Stacy. Yet Stacy's legs are over a foot longer than Sandra's.

Granted, Sandra has kind of short legs. Not in a bothersome way, but on the shorter side of average. She once got really angry with me when I said she reminded me of Cotton Hill (Hank's dad) on "King of the Hill."  I took a lot of shit for that remark, and deservedly so.

Another cool thing about Stacy Keibler and her 42 inch legs is that she's not like, SUPER skinny. Not gross skinny. I mean, she is skinny, and certainly skinner than anyone I know in real life, but really she's more fit than super skinny. I mean, she's got some ass. In fact, she's got quite a nice ass. I'd go so far as to say she has a perfect ass. The kind of ass that probably tastes like vanilla ice cream.

I'm starting to fall asleep so I need to figure out what I'm talking about.

Oh yeah. Dancing With the Stars

My entire point in this whole tirade of rambling bullshit is that Stacy Keibler has a leg up (har har) on the competition. She's got a lot more going for her as a dancer (even though she, like the rest of the "celebrities" isn't actually a trained dancer) than the rest of the people in the contest because of her wrestling background. She's used to complicated choreography. She's also (I'd imagine) used to putting herself through uncomfortable positions and movements without breaking character...

AND

she's super hot.

When we were watching tonight and she and her dancing partner got a 10 score, I remarked that she herself WAS a ten, to which Sandra said that she was, in fact, a seventeen.

I was going to pepper this post with a bunch of pictures of Stacy, to illustrate various points and moments in her history... but I think I'm just going to take some of the pictures I've downloaded and tack'em on at the end.

Also, I'd like to point out how my brain works and why I have a tendency to blow so much time on the computer.

I was fact checking my dates regarding when Stacy won that contest, which brought me to Wikipedia, which brought me reading about the detailed history of the WWF which linked me to reading about The Rock and Mick Foley and a bunch of other wrestling shit. I also started to comment about George Hamilton (which I ended up deleting because I didn't feel like following up on it) which lead me to read up on HIM and I found out a lot of shit I didn't know about him.

When I posted that I told Sandra that she reminded me of Cotton Hill, I went looking for a full body picture of Cotton (to show that he has no legs below the knees) and ended up finding out that Cotton (and Kahn) are voiced by Toby Huss, who played Artie: The Strongest Man in the World on "The Adventures of Pete and Pete" and I ended up looking up where all of the actors from that show ended up.

Surprisingly, the chick that played Nona on that show, Michelle Trachtenberg, actually turned into this super hot (though somewhat strange looking) adult. She was in that movie I didn't see, Ice Princess. She should play "Death" in the Death movie. That is, if they can't get Rachael Leigh Cook, which I'm sure they can.

Now I'm going to go watch "Twin Peaks" and then I'm going to sleep.