Something struck me earlier, when I was trying to come up with a topic for this column.  (Something other than my favorite pastime of Ryass bashing, which was OH-SOOO-TEMPTING after his latest antics and rumored future antics, but I digress…)

 

I was discussing with another poster on Dr. Helen-Ruth’s AMC board (shout-outs to THE QUEEN!) possible suspects in the Satin-Slayer murders when it hit me.  Why not REALLY shake things up and make the killer someone so completely unexpected and so beloved that NO ONE would see it coming?

What if AMC could actually pull off a bait-and-switch along the same vein that OLTL did with Trevor St. John and the execution storyline?  You know, how Trevor played along with the whole “They’re killing off my character, WTF? Oh darn,” thing?  What if TPTB at AMC could pull off something like that with the serial killer storyline?  And NO, I do not mean with Vincent Irizarry’s character, David Hayward.

 

We all know how TIIC are getting rid of beloved vets to make room for less expensive, much-less-talented younger “actors,” (and I use the term loosely).  Heck, one of them just disappeared in a blaze of…no, wait…there was no blaze of glory.  There wasn’t even a “Goodbye, I’m moving to London” scene, she was just GONE.  (As if she had never been there in the first place, and would never be missed, after playing her character for thirty years.)  Yes, that’s right m’dears, I’m talking about Julia Barr’s Brooke English!

 

Now, before I get roasted in the fires of righteous indignation, hear me out.  I love the character of Brooke, always have.  TPTB at ABC Daytime did her WRONG by letting her go the way they did, and without so much as even a goodbye.  Personally, I would rather see Brooke go out in a hail of gunfire or as a tormented serial killer than to just vanish from our screens without a word.  Think of the DRAMA this would generate.  The ANGST.  Brooke is intertwined with so many core and fringe characters that her descent into madness would set off a chain reaction in Pine Valley of epic proportions!

Think of the aftermath of that reveal?

 

Adam would be reeling, for sure, and it would give him a chance to get out from under the specter of Krystal-with-a-K-Carey and Babe; give him a chance at some really meaty material.  Likewise for Tad and Jamie.  Maybe even cause Jamie to grow-the-hell-up.  JR, too.  Everyone in town would be affected AND devastated.  Well, except for Erica, of course, who would just be flipping her hair and slapping/rubbing her thighs in righteous indignation - all the while proclaiming to everyone that she ALWAYS knew Brooke English was no good.  It MIGHT even get Ryass and Jonathug to SHUT-THE-HELL-UP, though I don’t hold out much hope for that.  After all, Jonathug’s tumor entitled him to all the forgiveness, redemption and hero-worship in the world, but there would be no forgiveness for Brooke.

Nope. Not one bit.  You know, cause she’s not a Lavery.

 

>eyeroll<

 

Now, it’s true that serial killing would be completely out of character for Brooke, so there would definitely need to be an explanation for why she would suddenly go off the deep end and start killing the Fusion twits in order to wreak havoc and vengeance upon Zach Slater.  What to do, what to do?  Hmmm….. Well, one option is the brain tumor angle; that always explains out of character behavior, but they used that one on Jonathug.  What about some other horrible disease that affects behavior, maybe even causes delusions?

 

If Brooke contracted a disease (or something) that made her suffer from delusions or hallucinations (both?) it could stand to reason that SOMEHOW she became convinced that Zach Slater was responsible for something terrible that happened in her life.  Maybe even that HE was the one who ran over her beloved daughter, Laura, all those years ago, instead of that other guy.  As the head of Tempo Magazine, she would have the resources and wherewithal to ferret out information about Clan Cambias and she could have learned about what happened to Amelia, that little Zach was there at the time, and use that against him as a way to torture and avenge (what she perceives/believes to be) Zach’s crimes against her.

 

That Kendall and Bianca are Erica’s daughters - her oldest nemesis and rival for her newly rekindled feelings for Jack - would simply be the icing on the cake.  Everyone else in town is running around suspecting the transgendered one and NO ONE would ever consider the possibility that it was Brooke who was actually committing the murders.  She knows the town, she knows the players… Who better to pull off these crimes while hiding in plain sight? No one would ever suspect her, or find it odd that she would turn up on the doorstep of any of the victims or intended victims; she’s Brooke!  Just imagine how powerful it could be if, when they are finally ready for the big reveal, her own son is the one who ends up standing between her and her intended victim?  Or Tad?  Or Adam?  Or Jack?  Or even Dixie?  And they had to be the one to stop her, at all costs and by any means necessary?  Now THAT, m’dears, would be high soapy drama.  It was also be much more worthy of Julia Barr’s talent than to have her simply vanish without a word.

 

>sigh<

 

Here’s to wishful thinking!

 

CHEERS!