November 16, 2006
 

My DVR recently reminded me that if I didn’t start watching the twenty plus episodes of General Hospital it had compiled, it would have to start making decisions for me about what is really important to keep.  So, I hosted my very own marathon viewing party for one, complete with hummus and bagel chips.  It was a success, particularly since whenever the guest seemed to get restless I just went back for more hummus, and she settled back down.  Even with refreshments though, I do not recommend this form of viewing, as there is little to nothing that actually holds up under that kind of pressure, it’s just too much at once.  So you can take that into consideration if my comments seem…grim.  There is also no more hummus in the house, also a possible contributing factor. 

Mac!  Mac looks awesome, younger and more handsome than ever if you ask me.  I was warned to expect an “Extra-special Fake Tan, Now with Even More Wattage!” but I have to tell you, if you just plan ahead for these things and adjust your television accordingly, it works out fine.  So Ric looks extra pale now, so what?  Adds to the whole “shadow of the man he could be” mystique. 

I applaud the PCPD for the stellar training they give their officers regarding perpetrator communication.  They obviously took to heart the idea of speaking slowly and clearly during tense standoff situations, ensuring that the bad guys with guns understand the situation completely.  Unfortunately they gave Sam too much time between words and she drifted off into thinking about what to wear while on the run, and Jason has spent too much time around Sonny to have the patience for anything less than spitting it out and maybe throwing something for emphasis.  Good try though. 

You all know I was gone for like a year from this show, and I *trusted* you to make sure everyone was clear that for me, “Soily” never happened.  It NEVER HAPPENED.  I thought we had an understanding.  There they were though, Nikolas and Emily, discussing thatthingthatneverhappened.  Who was in charge of sending out the memos?  Fess up.  Thirty lashes with one of Sam’s used bullet graze bandages! 

I had a most hopeful moment!  Sam was dangling off a building and no way could anyone know which building she’d be hanging off of and she had on clothes that would compliment a pavement background and I was *sure* my dreams were coming true!  Apparently it was another memo slip-up.  We really need to have a meeting or something. 

Okay, I can’t explain this at all, so don’t even ask me to, but I think I like Robin and Patrick.  I’ve never really cared much about Robin (well since that whole tattle-tale episode anyway) and Patrick held little interest for me either but…they make me smile a little.  Just a little, I swear!  Pfft.  We should just pretend I didn’t confess this and move on. 

Oh dear.  Just kill me now if there is any chance I will ever have to watch a computer geek fawn over Sam ever, ever, EVER again.  This is a person who can manipulate top mobsters with his expertise…okay wait, that doesn’t take much does it?  Carly’s been manipulating them with her uh “expertise” for years now.  But anyway, he’s supposed to be smart and he thinks he wants to steal Sam from Jason?  I was only half watching (hummus refill – woot!) but I hope he was pretending or something, because if he can’t tell Sam is running on "a simple batch processing arrangement (running) only a single job at a time, one after another" then he’s obviously not much of a computer whiz and he’s beyond any help we can offer him.  It's too bad too because he may need a job reference soon and he’s not getting it from me. 

Carly was a witch for Halloween.  *yawn*  Not original or extra crispy much? 

Holy water gun, Batman!  Some reproduction that kid has there!  I’m surprised Sonny wasn't shot by a security guard just trying to purchase it and get it out of the store!  I think I might need one for under my pillow. 

So Maxie is faking, right?  More importantly though, does she really believe wearing an afghan disguised as a sleeveless, cowl neck, baby doll blouse makes a whit of sense?  Somebody hand her the water gun so I can watch the police talk in slo-mo to *that* outfit. 

It’s unpopular opinion time!  I was happy Genie Francis was returning as Laura.  It’s one of the reasons I started watching again, who would want to miss out on that?  Turns out that would be me.  *I* could’ve missed out on this.  I have to tell you, I’m angry at the whole thing.  Genie Francis and Tony Geary have been phenomenal.  I felt Luke willing her to wake up, I felt his trepidation, and I felt his joy.   Usually I’d try to further talk up the good parts, but heck, you all know what they are.  Unfortunately, it’s ruined by this convoluted story that makes the whole thing feel more like an interruption than an event.  Why on earth didn’t they write it so that no one knew how the medication would work, if it would last?  Why couldn’t the return be celebrated and joyful, and then “oh no, she’s slipped away…thank God we had that time with her?”  I’m guessing the point is to let some people say a few things and have some closure, which is great, but I think we could’ve accomplished that even still.  A greater lesson is to appreciate the people you have even when you don’t know they’re going to leave again!  Good grief, it feels pathetic!  There was a time I would’ve rued the day I’d say something like that about a Luke and Laura reunion, but there ya go.  Luke says he wants to give Laura this gift, a wedding, in the time she has.  Well Luke maybe, just maybe, if she knew she only had a few more days she’d choose to do something other than eat cake and entertain the Quartermaines and other friends she could probably care less about in the grand scheme of her *life*?  Maybe marrying *you* for the thirty-fifth time wouldn’t be as meaningful as…I dunno, hugging the kids extra long and saying the important things she has to say?  Maybe she wouldn’t have chosen to spend November 14th and 15th ordering flowers and catering services and borrowing wedding days from other brides and instead would’ve just hugged a grandbaby more or written a will or had her hair deep moisturized?  Yeah Luke, it’s the “only gift” you can offer her.  Whatever.  I’m still unspoiled, but I swear, if she drifts back to Catatonia-ville right after saying “I do –forevah Luke” you’ll be hearing things you never dreamed you’d hear come out of my mouth.  Fricken ratings ploy.   

Oh, and while I still like Laura Wright, Carly is so going back to Sonny and I so don’t want to watch it.  “I can’t elope, I have to babysit!”  Okay, that was really good, lol, but still who do I have to promise Sam’s services to in order to get out of viewing *that*?  
    
 

 


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